A Thief's Library
by DagmarIceBlade
Summary: Julie hoards books. In the Vault of the Thieves Guild. Not everybody appreciates this. (Crack, written for the skyrimkinkmeme.)


Originally written for the Skyrimkinkmeme. The original prompt asked for something about a Dragonborn who hoards books in the Thieves' Guild.

Generic fic! Crack!

Julie is the same Dovahkiin as in my story 'Alchemy Experiment'.

* * *

Brynjolf had an unusually dark look about him. Shoulders hunched, arms crossed and knees slightly bent as if he was ready to jump at the first person to so much as look at him.

Julie raised an eyebrow, not understanding the dark mood of the fellow Nightingale as she happily made her way into the Cistern. Her latest job had gone spectacularly… well, it had been spectacular in any case when she escaped the mages of the College of Winterhold by _letting herself drop across the walls_, and landing exactly right – and Bryn would want to hear about it. Certainly.

Especially the part where she wasn't a spot of red on the snow-covered cliffs around the College. She should never do such stupid things again…

Rune threw her a sidelong glance, and made a gesture that could only mean she was in trouble. From Brynjolf. He pretended to be incredibly busy with his armor, however, and Julie shrugged. Nothing was –

"Lass, you come here." Brynjolf's voice echoed off the walls of the Cistern and disturbed her thoughts. She had no idea the man could raise his voice to the point where the stone under her feet would shudder. "What in Nocturnal's name were you thinking?"

"Wha- what are you talking about, Bryn?" she called from where she stood, throwing her bag on the floor with a loud thump and looking through its contents. She had only seen him this angry once before, and that had involved Mercer and his disgusting lies. This must be serious.

He did not answer and simply glared at her.

"Just go to him, will you?" Rune whispered, almost pleading. "He's been in this foul mood for three days."

She didn't think Rune would shudder in fear from Brynjolf, but nonetheless he tried very hard to not appear in conversation with her. His fingers fiddled with the straps of his armor and now with the seams of a hidden pocket.

"Are you done talking, lass, or do I have to come and get you?"

Could Brynjolf actually sound menacing? Because that is how he sounded, right about now. Rune jumped and practically ran towards the Ragged Flagon.

Julie held the coin purse up as she approached the man, almost as a peace offering, uncomfortably smirking. "Look what I –"

"Don't even start, lass." His voice had returned to its normal volume, but his glare had not subsided. It reminded her of the glare he had first levelled Karliah when she returned to the Cistern… "You are in a world of trouble."

The taller Nord towered over her, as she retracted the pouch and cringed involuntarily. Had he actually gotten taller since she had left? "What's wrong, then?" Why did her voice sound like a scared kitten?

"Could you," Brynjolf said, "open the vault for me?"

"Is that a trick question?"

"Open the vault for me, lass."

She fumbled in her pocket before pulling out her key. The door opened, and all the books she had neatly piled up before now lay strewn about the vault, some of them falling before her feet. In the back of her mind, she imagined a stampede of mammoths trampling through the room, with desperate giants running after them, flailing their arms.

"What is this? What, _by all that we hold dear_, lass, is this?"

A feeling of dread dropped to her stomach, a moment later replaced by shock and anger. "All my books! What did you do to them!"

"Let me rephrase that for you, lass. All your _books_, what are they doing _in our vault_?"

"I had them all piled up so neatly!"

"_Books_ in our _vault_, lass."

The door to the Flagon opened again and closed, but neither paid much attention to that.

"Don't like reading, Brynjolf?" she spat.

"Be careful what you say, lass." Brynjolf's eyes narrowed even further, and he leaned over her.

… until a hurried Delvin grabbed his arm and pulled him back. "Oh good, you haven't killed her yet," he drawled in that accent of his. "Easy, Bryn."

The red-haired Nord backed away, reluctantly.

Julie turned away from them, and regarded the mess of books before her. All her books! She was sure some of them would be damaged. It would just be her luck if it were the rare ones, too.

"How long has this little problem been going on, lass?"

"I take issue with you calling it 'a little problem'," she spat. Brynjolf grunted behind her, but her anger had somewhat subsided and she sighed. "Suppose… a month or two."

"Two _months_?" Brynjolf asked. "How did you… what… how did you get this many books in there without anybody noticing?"

Julie grinned sheepishly, and looked at Delvin.

"You're in this, too, Del?"

"I did warn you…" And Delvin's weak smile looked just as sheepish as Julie's own.

"_Three days ago_." Brynjolf turned around and clenched his fists, shaking his head, muttering under his breath.

"You know what happened when we tried opening it?" Delvin said, almost conspiratorially to Julie.

"What?" she asked, bitterly.

"We had to dig Brynjolf out with three people."

Julie pulled around and looked at him incredulously, her mouth opening, but no sound came out.

"Don't believe him, lass?"

"… I believe you," she said slowly. "But… wait, _what_ happened?"

"I told Bryn of your ehm… collection," Delvin said carefully. "So he wanted to see for himself. He opened the lock with his key, then the door creaked and when it opened… an avalanche of books threw him to the floor."

"But…"

"Some of them fell as far as the pool, and the desk was completely engulfed."

"But, how…"

"Then Vex and Cynric pulled me out of it, but it took the three of us two hours to dig Bryn completely out. Cynric joked it had been the first time to break someone out of a library…"

Julie stared once again at the two men. For some reason, her first thought was: _I need a bigger vault_. Then immediately after, she realised how stupid that would be to say right now. Brynjolf would positively gut her. Or let a stampede of mammoths crush her to bits. His choice.

"Lass, the books go," Brynjolf said.

"But… all of them?"

"The books _go_. Find some other place to put them."

"But Brynjolf, how…"

"Keep quiet, lass! The books _go_ or I will personally see to it they go."

Julie stood in shocked silence, swallowing hard, and looking at Delvin. He shrugged. "It's hardly a thief's vault, is it?"

"How… but all of them…"

"Don't you have that wizard-lover in Whiterun? I'm sure he'd like to pile them as high as his little office there."

Julie glared. "That's low, Brynjolf."

He snorted, but avoided her gaze.

"Fine," she muttered in a low voice. "Fine, I'll get these books out of here." She dumped the coin pouch on the desk.

Delvin shifted uncomfortably from one leg to the other, the air between the Guild Master and her second-in-command turned to dread and anger almost too thick for him to breathe. Julie piled up a couple of books, while Brynjolf counted the coins. Both very pointedly ignored the other.

"All right, cut it out you two." No answer came from either camp. "Come on, cut it out."

Brynjolf threw a glance at Julie, who did the same at that exact moment. She quickly looked away. That was awkward.

"We can't run a guild with a book-hoarding Guild Master and a second-in-command who insults said Guild Master." Delvin looked at Brynjolf at that.

Julie got up from her books, reluctantly, and saw Brynjolf do the same. She wasn't sure what to expect from Delvin, but right now, he was almost a father who told his children to play nice.

"Right. Now, Julie, apologise to Bryn – and me, if you would – for the avalanche of books."

That sentence would be so strange lacking any context, Julie wondered absently. She really did feel like a young girl apologising to her brother for taking his toy. And it felt just as awkward. Looking at the red-haired Nord, she couldn't rid herself of the feeling that he was just as uncomfortable.

"I'm sorry, Brynjolf, I shouldn't have stacked the Vault full of books," she mumbled. Yes, awkward.

"Speak up, Julie, so Bryn can hear you."

Julie glared at Delvin, but his look only made her feel more the little girl, and less Guild Master of Skyrim's Thieves Guild. Raising her voice and actually looking at him, she said: "I'm sorry, Brynjolf and Delvin."

"Very good," Delvin nodded approvingly. "Now, Brynjolf, apologise to her for saying those nasty things."

Brynjolf cleared his throat, threw a sidelong glance at Delvin, and muttered something about it being really necessary. Delvin didn't back down, though, and only nodded. He sighed and looked at her, and she saw he actually did regret his words. "Sorry lass, I shouldn't have said those things."

For a moment, Julie thought it was over, but Delvin wasn't ready yet. "For saying which things, Bryn?"

"For insulting her wizard-boyfriend in Whiterun," Brynjolf said.

"Good, now that we're done here, I'm off to the Flagon for a drink." A self-satisfied smirk adorned the thief's face as he left the two leading members of the Guild behind him.

After a long silence between Julie and Brynjolf, she asked: "Has he ever done that before?"

Brynjolf smirked. "With Mercer Frey leading the Guild?"

"Ah, I guess not. I ehm… I'll get them out as soon as I can, Bryn."

"That's all right, lass. You can keep the ones about thieving here, perhaps it'll teach the others a thing or two." He smiled weakly at her. "How was your job at the College of Winterhold?"

Julie grinned proudly, then promptly remembered she had in fact stolen _more_ books from the College library. "I'll ehm… tell you later."


End file.
